Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
