I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
