I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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