i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
