Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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