why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
