He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think people are normalizing furries
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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