the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
