She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
