Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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