The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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