Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
