The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When are your genitals available?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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