i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
