Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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