Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
