smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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