Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
