You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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