and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
