I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
