No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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