so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
