Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
