I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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