You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
