You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
