would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
