grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
