come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
