dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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