Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
