we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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