my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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