Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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