White coat. Heels.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
