This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
