none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We are all done wearing pants today
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
