I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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