Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
