I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
