My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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