And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
