i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
