this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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