I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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