I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
