I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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