dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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