She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
